The Kenya Revenue Authority Self Service Guide

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The Kenya Revenue Authority (KRA) serves the citizens of Kenya by taking up to a maximum of thirty percent of incomes depending on tax bracket. These “taxes” are then used to fund various governmental functions including payment of the politicians we all love to hate but can’t seem to get rid of. But KRA is not an evil entity. It is arguably the most useful part of society. A closer look at it and one realizes that they are probably even more helpful than any self-help book anyone can own. They serve this function without as much as a “thank you” from the people being assisted. Here are some of the ways KRA is helping you for free.
Buddhist philosophies, which most self help titles are based on, call for a release of attachment to material possessions. Apparently these possessions keep us anchored and incapable of maturing in our spiritual walk. KRA has taken it upon itself to relieve the pressure by ensuring no person earns too much to hinder the pilgrimage. Can you imagine how off track my spiritual walk would be if they did not regularly relieve me of thirty percent of my financial burden? When you think about it, employers are scoundrels and promotions are things to be avoided. Heaven is not a close location my friends. The reason some of us may never see it is because we are too tied down by heavy burdens of wealth and success. Thank you KRA for keeping us light.
Relationships these days are tricky business. Men want to be married with girlfriends, said girlfriends want to date college boys and the college boys just want to have sex so it’s anyone’s guess where THEY are going. It’s a mess! KRA takes away the burden of indecision in relationships by forcing everyone to choose ONE. Either you are in or out. “Married” or “Single”! There are no tax incentives for anything in between. KRA’s move to only have two selections has also lowered the amount of marital strife in the country because all that negative energy is aimed at the institution for being so harsh with taxes. Furthermore, everyone not only knows who is married to whom but how many children each of them has. As we all know, tax incentives supersede the need to keep secret children a secret… Or they should. Thank you KRA for fixing societal marital problems.
Finally, KRA forces people to be sure of their business ventures. For example, the clearing and forwarding business which imports a couple of sleek new Mercedes CLS with genuine leather interiors and high tech navigations systems because they are “very popular in the country at the moment”. If the importer cannot afford to pay the customs taxes within a “reasonable period” of thirty days so that the vehicles can be released from the port, then KRA has every right to sell them at a public auction for a fraction of the original value. It’s called “disposal” as in “throwing away at a profit”. If you are feeling sad for the importer think about the fact that YOU could be the new owner of a brand new Mercedes CLS for a fraction of the cost. PSYCHE! Just Kidding! Anyone capable of importing a CLS can pay for it. You are more likely to find a shopping list of crappy Toyotas, safes, computer spare parts, surgical goods, engineering goods, phones and a million other things worth abandoning. So in a way KRA helps abandoned goods find good homes. Thank you KRA.

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